We have been busy almost every night these past weeks and I can see the storm letting up in a few weeks, but it is still hard. It is hard not to grumble at your spouse for not obviously seeing the disaster that is your house and not want to, I don't know, do something! Or have little patience with your kids because you are so tired and so busy that you forget to stop and marvel in these two perfect kiddos. So naturally when a bright eyed bride is sitting in front of you at a meeting gushing about her fiance - you get a little jealous. Jealous of the excitement of that time and of the simplicity of it just being about love and how much you can not stand to be apart. I remember my engagement well. I could not stand to be away from him for any amount of time. I remember telling my roommate that it literally felt like my heart hurt when he was away. When I think about it now - I want to respond to my 22 year old self with a prompt "Gag me!" Marriage is not a bed of roses, it is hard, it is self sacrificing, is is time consuming, and it is exhausting at times.
These past weeks we have been so blessed with some great couples. Last Saturday was the best "you may kiss the bride" moment when she literally jumped into the groom's arms and gave him a big kiss- foot pop and all. Last Sunday's groom I had never seen so happy in the year we have known him and the bride was just beside herself with emotion before walking down the aisle. This weekend our first couple was just giddy. So giddy! It was the cutest thing. And our second couple was just ready to be married and be a family. I witnessed all these vows (except the second one on Saturday) and every.single.time I smiled and had to wipe away a tear because I believe in marriage and commitment. I believe in finding that person that you love and can't stand to be apart from and declaring that love for all who will hear. Every.single.time I hear marriage vows - no matter the denomination - I think about my day. My nerves getting ready to walk down the aisle and my immediate relief when I saw my husband at the end of the aisle smiling like a little boy who just got a bowl full of candy. I remember my vows, the intensity of that moment and the overwhelming sense that even though there were close to 200 people there- it felt like just me and him at that moment.
I don't think i will ever get desensitized to watching couples get married because marriage is not a bed of roses, it is hard, is is self sacrificing, it is time consuming, and it is exhausting at times. But - it is worth every.single.moment because happiness is deciding to look past the imperfections. You can always find something wrong in a marriage and in a spouse. Luckily for me I get to see what is right almost every.single.weekend - a promise to love, hold, and cherish.